Sunday, July 13, 2014

One day at a time

One day at a time: That is my motto right now when it comes to life. Like everyone, some days are good, some are bad. I wish I could tell you each day I get stronger and stronger. Well, I could tell you, but I'd be lying. Some days I feel like this:

Some days I feel like this:

 For those that are sitting here horrified...the Mommie Dearest picture is a joke. Simply put, life is a roller coaster. Yesterday I felt like I was at the top of the hill (I hate roller coasters, by the way, so if this description doesn't make sense, that's why) staring at the ground below me. Then suddenly I drop straight down. Both boys were whiny, I didn't sleep well the night before, and Gavin woke up at 4 am. It was the perfect recipe for a stressful day. Nothing made Gavin happy. He just couldn't be satisfied. Keegan woke up from his nap, and thought, "Hey, let's see if mommy can handle 2 whiny babies!" I couldn't, I called the in laws at 3:30 begging to get out of the house.

I love my boys, more than ANYTHING, but every parent needs a break, especially a special needs parent. I needed to get away so I could recharge, breathe, and hang out with an adult (I guess Alan is an adult. I wonder sometimes. Kidding!) 

  I have learned not to dwell on days like yesterday. I have also learned it's OKAY to take a break, not only is it okay, but it is necessary. While doing some research, I found this in an article:

 "Any couple knows how the blessing of a child being born into the family can challenge the relationship between his or her parents. When the child has special needs, these challenges grow exponentially, stressing the relationship in ways most couples are not prepared for. It is no surprise, therefore, that some studies suggest that the rate of divorce amongst couples with children with special needs is higher than in the general population."  (special needs divorce rate).

 One thing I will NOT talk about on this blog is my marriage. I will say this though, that quote makes perfect sense and it was a terrifying realization.

 Why did I tell you this? I don't know. Really, I don't. I was trying to think about what to blog about, and this kept tugging at my heart. I took my break, forgot the diet, and just relaxed. When I walked in the door, Keegan instantly started jumping up and down and smiling. It's moments like that, that make you forget about the rough days.

 I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. Did we still have rough patches? Of course, but we also had a great day. Gavin started to get whiny this afternoon, so I threw his little butt in the pool. That was MY stress relief for the day. (NO, I didn't really throw him!)

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