Monday, September 22, 2014

"Goodnight. I love you."

I have thought long and hard about this post. What exactly do I want to say? Part of me wants to tell it like it is, the anger, the sadness, the depression. Then, I think about mom, and what SHE would want me to say. She wouldn't want me dwelling on her death. So after thinking all day about we go.

Mom passed away Monday, September 23, 1996. I have spent 18 years talking about how angry I was because God took her from me. Enough is enough. Yes, I still miss her, more than words can say. Yes, I still have angry moments. YES, I still question WHY this had to happen.

Instead of dwelling on all the questions I still have. Tomorrow, I am going to think about the good times I had with her. She was my best friend and I am blessed with some wonderful memories.

I still have the video of her when I put her hair in dreadlocks.

I still remember the snake hanging over the door frame and hitting her in the head when she walked outside.

I remember her accidentally wearing her house shoes out in public.

I remember spending hours brushing her hair.

I was such a mamma's girl. I was joined at her hip, and hated being without her. I laugh and say Keegan is my payback because he is the same way. He has to be right next to me all the time.

I remember going into her room a million times (always scared of something lol) and she never once got mad. I either crawled in bed with her or she laid with me until I fell back asleep.

I remember the entire family going to the Christmas Tree Farm and cutting down a tree.

I remember her scratching my back, and how relaxed and safe I felt when she did it.

I could go on and on, but the greatest memory I have, are her last words to me. "Goodnight. I love you."

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